SCAN0004A party in my childhood home
Three-ten South Street
I lived there for six years
And it’s exactly two thousand nine hundred eighty three miles away

It was the last house I lived in
Which was eight years ago
And in this dream I have every week
I throw a party there

High school friends, college friends, people I’ve never met
Drinking booze and breaking things in my old home
That I only ever had one friend visit
I dream of this story often

At the end I see something in the backyard
Usually a deer, sometimes a dog
And it retreats away into the blizzard
Later wolves will come

I will slam the glass door shut as they pound against it
I pull the blinds so no one sees
But eventually people find out
When it’s too late

And it’s at this moment
My fat Magnavox TV at the back of the room
The title screen to Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn waits for someone
Someone to press Start

I don’t know how that plays in
And why it so particularly stands out to me
But every time I wake up from this dream
I will remember how I felt

The day I played the sequel to my favorite game
The day that I went to a store and found it on the shelf
Not knowing it would be there
I don’t think that’s happened to me since

There’s always a scene where I’m outside
Shivering, trudging through the snow
Looking for something, checking the garage
Are they there?

Who am I talking about?
Who am I looking for?
I wish I could tell you
I really do

Every night now I have a dream
Where I move back to Boston to give college a second go
Sometimes I’ll miss a flight, or end up alone wandering the streets
But I get that, I know what it means

Not smart enough
And I’m working on that
I read now, I run, I listen
To quell the fantasies

I like having that dream
But I don’t like struggling to make breakfast
And collapsing in tears
Because of my impossible desire

But I am fighting that
This shit with the wolves pounding at my door
Running around naked in the snow
What the fuck is that about

Like please, have mercy
I got enough shit on my mind
Well, the fact that I’m writing this poem kinda says
I don’t have enough I guess

Let’s break it down

Party at my old house
————Not unless you count birthday parties my mom threw for me
————But I do like hosting
A deer in the backyard
————Yes, she stared at me for a long time
————Before escaping into the forest
Wolves at the door
————Ah yes, The Great Wolf Attack of 2007
————No man are you kidding me
Running naked around the house
————Yeah, fine, one time
Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn on the TV
————Oh absolutely, I loved that game — I lied earlier
————It was ten times at least

I was thirteen and lonely give me a break
I had — have?  Hm I’ll go with
Had Problems

Now I’m twenty four and I go to bed at 930 sometimes
930 wait, stop what does that have to do with this
Well we are talking about wolves murdering
Me and my drunken friends

Give me a second
I’ll be back
Alright seven minutes have passed between these two lines
I boiled water and

I drank oolong tea at five eighteen pm
A buzz rocketed behind my eyes and I woke up
As the sky became totally black
Impacting my sleep worse than this weird dream o’ mine

So here we are
I’m gonna ugh
I’m gonna go play Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn
I’ll come back with my findings


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