Mo(u)rning Routine

Mournin.JPG

Wake up
Unplug phone
Skimm, Scroll
Read, learn, breathe

Gun control, sex affairs
Vomiting teenagers, calls to action
Calls for submissions, reading
Are you unhappy, sort of, scroll a little more

Frown, cry, writhe
Stop scrolling
Take meds, wait no, no water
Need water, go to kitchen

Pour water in cup, pour water in pot
Boil pot, slice strawberries
Screech, screech, pour water into coffee
Bloom, pour, stir, press

Catch self in mirror
Dry hair, dirty nails
Black stubble, white hairs
Bad teeth

Remember remember remember

Check schedule, check deadlines
Open newsletters, email, planner
Meds, take your meds, gulp water
Toss pills, swallow, okay

Focus focus focus

Call lit press
Hold hold hold stop
Answering machine
Put a pin, book mark

Again again again

Ten book marks of jobs
Two of submissions
Three of essays to read
One of new music

Hair still dry, stubble still black
Bags under eyes, skin still chapped
Stomach still too big, clothes still stained
Teeth still bad

Write write write
Done, can’t think, prompt
Bad prompt, next prompt, bad prompt
Give up, slump

Bathroom, no, not til you finish
Eat, no, not til you finish
Shower, uh, somewhere in between
No I’m hungry can’t focus, so eat

Cooking, podcast, learning
Burning, eating, eat too much
Sad, fat, lazy, sleep
Sleeping

Call mom, voice mail, hang up
Brood, waste time
Social media social media social media
Call from mom, ignore

Cycling, spiraling
Whatever
Living routine to say routine
Not working

So tomorrow get up
Don’t scroll
Drink water, eat, take meds
Clean body, plan day

Go.


Thanks for reading.  Been in a funk lately as you could guess.  This website helped me pull out of said funk to finish this poem though so I would like to share it with you.

Self Care CYOA

It feels really embarrassing to resort to things like this, but like my therapist says, feelings aren’t real.  Just because you feel embarrassed doesn’t mean you should actually be ashamed.  If you need help, reach out for it.  This is just one way.

And as always, you can subscribe to my newsletter for discussions on art, original drawings, and fun LGBT stuff here.

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