Daddy, Hey Daddy

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I never really knew you
Connected with you
You were at war and I was at war
Then you were gone

But everything is still the same
I’m here alone like I always was
Homing in on the whispers between leaves
Instead of drifting

Dad

Did you know it would be like this

Probably
Ha
That’d be so typical
So color me unsurprised

Is this what you wanted
Or expected
Or did I do this
Or am I just

You

Dinner, we had
Dinner
And car rides
And funerals

Strange lights floating
Just beyond the window
Green, phantasmal, gently, up, down
Insects I think

Flat on feathers
Moment by moment a growing association with
Some eternal hang-up
To burrow into nightly

Broken

You knew people
That know me?
That say things about you as if
As if I know

Knew

Knew you

Yeah

Hungry leer, expecting eyes
Slack-jawed gazing up at
A phantasmal ventriloquism performance
From a faded memory

I’m scared
This feeling

F e e l i n g

Feeling

I’m feeling

Something

What is it though
Little green lights
A sad bed
People hearing what they want to

Which isn’t me
Never me always you
Your stories, your candor
Legacy

You wanted me in your family
Not with um
Whoever they were
Are?

Not a Gawain at birth
Not even sure
If I was ever
Katrina

K A T R I N A

Your past, my future
Your future, my nothing
My vision, your never-to-be
Diverging

I don’t want to go
But I can’t stay

I love you

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